Upon first glance, this rule seems like a quickly-thought-of, snappy line to help people feel better about themselves. Well, it is, sort of. It appears to be a feel good message designed to empower those who have an agenda to follow no matter what gets in their way, and it is. BUT, the objections are not always external ones, like hurdles in your field of vision - many are internal.
I have memorized the definition of the word 'perseverance' and I have also taped it onto my fridge where I can see it every day. The words 'counter-influence, opposition and discouragement' are the objections to ignore in the definition and these things are often manifested by the very person who is trying to ignore them.
Sometimes people try to talk you out of doing something you want to do because they either haven't got what it takes and they don't want to see somebody do what they secretly want to do or they simply want to bust your bubble. AND, if you try then fail, they'll say: "See? I told you so." That's because it is hard work to start doing something you want to do (but relatively easy to sustain it).
Often times, people talk themselves out of doing something they want to do for whatever reason. They can justify it in so many ways and ultimately talk themselves out of it.
It's funny that most sales people that I have studied agree that sales are mostly based on emotion rather than need. Isn't that what passion is all about when it comes to choosing a career path? Don't people get all emotional when they start thinking about what they want to do for a living?
I don't like the word 'job', because it seems so temporary and random like a series of broken paths. Put into the perspective of a component in a career path, it seems to make more sense.
We're here on this planet for a short while. So, why not do what you want to do or do something the way you want to do it, rather than settle for something you're not crazy about? This applies to both seeking a new career path and improving your current situation.
Legacies are forged from passion, sweat and hardship. The more they're hammered, the more they shine in the end.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Dead End Job? No Such Thing.
I made a bold statement to a colleague not too long ago when I said: "There is no such thing as a dead-end job." I was inspired previously at a conference about recruiting and retaining employees in a 'boomer, gen-x, gen-y' world. A presenter demonstrated how the term 'McJob' was hurtful to their organization because there is always something of value to be learned and always somewhere higher to go, even with seemingly dead-end positions - it's all how one views their position in life.
I'm not saying that a relatively low-paying and under-appreciated position is good to have forever, but there is always something to learn and people to meet, no matter what you do. It really is up to the person in the position to figure it out for themselves. I've always stuck by my firm belief that it takes just as much time and energy to look for something you do want as it does to follow something you don't.
During my many years in the working world, I have discovered many things about positions I didn't like - namely, I didn't like them, so I looked for something else. Eventually, I forced myself to follow a path I would truly enjoy and I have been there ever since. Former co-workers, who chose to stay at what I perceived to be dead-end jobs, appeared to be thriving yet others at the same place weren't. That confirms my belief that it is up to the individual to determine what success means according to them.
I started off my working life selling garbage bags door to door when I was 14. Let me just say, it was a great way to get over disappointments in life. When I came home with forty bucks, I was the king of my own world and when I came home with four, I had to take a look at what happened. At some point, I lost my enthusiasm and my earnings were directly proportional to that. So, what made me care for a while, then begin to not care and go into a slump? It's called 'life'. Life always gets in the way of everything, of course, and I got a great life lesson that summer, dealing with ups and downs, family, friends, love interests and money.
That was almost thirty years ago and you know what? Life still happens the same way.
Nothing is different except that I eventually chose to focus on other things, which led me here, but having many seemingly dead-end jobs until I got here. The difference is, I chose to get the most from the work and not let it do me in, no matter what industry I was working in. If I had to mop a floor, it was the cleanest floor anyone had ever seen. What kept me mopping so well? The thought of what I'd be doing in the future. I knew I'd have to mop a few floors and take out tons of garbage in probably the same types of bags I'd sold, but when I kept my future in focus, I knew it would be okay.
Did I feel belittled doing such menial tasks as part of my position? Sometimes, but those feelings usually went away when I was sharply focused on my future. How did I maintain that focus over all those years? One word - perseverance. That one word kept me going through every position I'd ever had because I knew I would one day be doing what I wanted, not what I felt I had to. I eventually posted the definition of the word onto my fridge so I could see it every day and over time I developed my experience into a process, much of which is written about on this blog site.
Takeaway points:
1. Never let anybody tell you what your career direction should be. You are in charge of it at all times.
2. Always do your best work, no matter what you do. You will feel like you've actually contributed to a working system in a positive way.
3. You won't be there forever. Consider any position a stepping stone if you discover you aren't completely satisfied. But, plan your way out.
4. Always remain positive when working. It seems impossible, sometimes, but you never know who is watching. Any position can be a networking opportunity, some require you to be more discreet, however.
5. Remind yourself every day of your desired position or career.
6. Don't get trapped by money, money follows success. A great paying position may make you feel used and just because you make good money, doesn't mean you can appreciate it and hang onto it. To be truly successful, you need to make the money you want in the position you chose.
7. There is no such thing as a dead-end job! Unless, of course, you see a dead end. But, if you see a dead end sign on the road, do you go down it and expect to find a way out? I think not.
Cheers!
Buck Moore
thinkWORKnotJOB.com
I'm not saying that a relatively low-paying and under-appreciated position is good to have forever, but there is always something to learn and people to meet, no matter what you do. It really is up to the person in the position to figure it out for themselves. I've always stuck by my firm belief that it takes just as much time and energy to look for something you do want as it does to follow something you don't.
During my many years in the working world, I have discovered many things about positions I didn't like - namely, I didn't like them, so I looked for something else. Eventually, I forced myself to follow a path I would truly enjoy and I have been there ever since. Former co-workers, who chose to stay at what I perceived to be dead-end jobs, appeared to be thriving yet others at the same place weren't. That confirms my belief that it is up to the individual to determine what success means according to them.
I started off my working life selling garbage bags door to door when I was 14. Let me just say, it was a great way to get over disappointments in life. When I came home with forty bucks, I was the king of my own world and when I came home with four, I had to take a look at what happened. At some point, I lost my enthusiasm and my earnings were directly proportional to that. So, what made me care for a while, then begin to not care and go into a slump? It's called 'life'. Life always gets in the way of everything, of course, and I got a great life lesson that summer, dealing with ups and downs, family, friends, love interests and money.
That was almost thirty years ago and you know what? Life still happens the same way.
Nothing is different except that I eventually chose to focus on other things, which led me here, but having many seemingly dead-end jobs until I got here. The difference is, I chose to get the most from the work and not let it do me in, no matter what industry I was working in. If I had to mop a floor, it was the cleanest floor anyone had ever seen. What kept me mopping so well? The thought of what I'd be doing in the future. I knew I'd have to mop a few floors and take out tons of garbage in probably the same types of bags I'd sold, but when I kept my future in focus, I knew it would be okay.
Did I feel belittled doing such menial tasks as part of my position? Sometimes, but those feelings usually went away when I was sharply focused on my future. How did I maintain that focus over all those years? One word - perseverance. That one word kept me going through every position I'd ever had because I knew I would one day be doing what I wanted, not what I felt I had to. I eventually posted the definition of the word onto my fridge so I could see it every day and over time I developed my experience into a process, much of which is written about on this blog site.
Takeaway points:
1. Never let anybody tell you what your career direction should be. You are in charge of it at all times.
2. Always do your best work, no matter what you do. You will feel like you've actually contributed to a working system in a positive way.
3. You won't be there forever. Consider any position a stepping stone if you discover you aren't completely satisfied. But, plan your way out.
4. Always remain positive when working. It seems impossible, sometimes, but you never know who is watching. Any position can be a networking opportunity, some require you to be more discreet, however.
5. Remind yourself every day of your desired position or career.
6. Don't get trapped by money, money follows success. A great paying position may make you feel used and just because you make good money, doesn't mean you can appreciate it and hang onto it. To be truly successful, you need to make the money you want in the position you chose.
7. There is no such thing as a dead-end job! Unless, of course, you see a dead end. But, if you see a dead end sign on the road, do you go down it and expect to find a way out? I think not.
Cheers!
Buck Moore
thinkWORKnotJOB.com
Friday, May 2, 2008
What to do When You Like What You Do, But don't Like What's Around You (A Case Study in Conflict Resolution)
I Like what I do. Well, good for me, right? But, there are times when I run into problems at work I wish would just dry up and blow away. Pressure from deadlines & scheduling, and problems with new team members who don't fully know the workings of the organization can create overwhelming feelings for almost anybody. Although I am generally an effective communicator, I sometimes need to come up with custom solutions to unique situations as they arise.
Poor interdepartmental communication can be very frustrating to deal with on a daily basis, especially when a new person takes over an existing position and they make questionable decisions right off the bat, without getting to know the people they affect when they make those decisions. Perhaps it's a case of the new person not being fully trained or perhaps they want to introduce new policies to demonstrate their value, leadership and initiative.
Recently, I found myself in a situation where the protocol had changed without me being informed. This lead to feelings of resentment and inferior teamwork but I didn't let it get to the point of poor productivity, although even that crept in a little bit on it's own as a result. The initial problem was that of poor communication which had a domino effect on my livelihood, including major scheduling problems and fewer opportunities; not to mention reduced profit. A revolution was indeed in progress.
A few months went by as I maintained a very patient appearance in order to identify what the actual problem was and to remain rational about the whole thing so I could solve it effectively on my own. All too often, I've seen people react very impulsively in similar situations only to make matters worse - something I've trained myself to avoid from many years of field work. To me, this situation was like a puzzle I had to solve rather than get frustrated and throw the pieces on the floor in a fit of rage (rash decisions are often a bad idea as very little can be learned from them).
After careful analysis, I decided that the best thing to do to maintain a high level of professionalism and effective teamwork, was to approach the person and tell them face to face how the new policies they chose to introduce were affecting me and how I was used to a certain way of working with the company. It is important to know that I did so in a very rational manner, while showing I was serious about my work (any flaring tempers would have ruined the whole situation).
My goals were simple: get them to understand my situation on a personal level, comprehend my way of thinking and work with me to provide solutions to the situation. The result: success! By communicating rationally, I discovered what the real problem was and I was able to work out a solution which I was happy with. Teamwork has since improved a great deal.
I should note that a formal meeting was planned to help resolve the situation, but it never happened. So, I took the initiative to solve the problem myself. I can't say that this way of approaching a problem is the solution for every work-related issue, but it sure beats letting problems fester. Also, note that I have been practicing and evolving this way of approaching problems at work for over 20 years. My goal has always been to have a great team to work with no matter where I am working and I have always found ways to maintain a highly effective team, whether I was boss or not.
If anything can be learned from this blog entry it is this: finding a solution to a work-related problem means properly identifying the problem and communicating, on a personal level, with those who have created the problem; and don't always wait for a formal meeting.
If the situation cannot be resolved and you can't work like that, it may be time to make a change or the unresolved issue will probably fester, possibly leading to jadedness, animosity, lowered productivity, poor teamwork and low staff morale. If you're going to work anyway, why not try to improve a work situation rather than let it go downhill? It's important to like what you do or do something you like to do.
Poor interdepartmental communication can be very frustrating to deal with on a daily basis, especially when a new person takes over an existing position and they make questionable decisions right off the bat, without getting to know the people they affect when they make those decisions. Perhaps it's a case of the new person not being fully trained or perhaps they want to introduce new policies to demonstrate their value, leadership and initiative.
Recently, I found myself in a situation where the protocol had changed without me being informed. This lead to feelings of resentment and inferior teamwork but I didn't let it get to the point of poor productivity, although even that crept in a little bit on it's own as a result. The initial problem was that of poor communication which had a domino effect on my livelihood, including major scheduling problems and fewer opportunities; not to mention reduced profit. A revolution was indeed in progress.
A few months went by as I maintained a very patient appearance in order to identify what the actual problem was and to remain rational about the whole thing so I could solve it effectively on my own. All too often, I've seen people react very impulsively in similar situations only to make matters worse - something I've trained myself to avoid from many years of field work. To me, this situation was like a puzzle I had to solve rather than get frustrated and throw the pieces on the floor in a fit of rage (rash decisions are often a bad idea as very little can be learned from them).
After careful analysis, I decided that the best thing to do to maintain a high level of professionalism and effective teamwork, was to approach the person and tell them face to face how the new policies they chose to introduce were affecting me and how I was used to a certain way of working with the company. It is important to know that I did so in a very rational manner, while showing I was serious about my work (any flaring tempers would have ruined the whole situation).
My goals were simple: get them to understand my situation on a personal level, comprehend my way of thinking and work with me to provide solutions to the situation. The result: success! By communicating rationally, I discovered what the real problem was and I was able to work out a solution which I was happy with. Teamwork has since improved a great deal.
I should note that a formal meeting was planned to help resolve the situation, but it never happened. So, I took the initiative to solve the problem myself. I can't say that this way of approaching a problem is the solution for every work-related issue, but it sure beats letting problems fester. Also, note that I have been practicing and evolving this way of approaching problems at work for over 20 years. My goal has always been to have a great team to work with no matter where I am working and I have always found ways to maintain a highly effective team, whether I was boss or not.
If anything can be learned from this blog entry it is this: finding a solution to a work-related problem means properly identifying the problem and communicating, on a personal level, with those who have created the problem; and don't always wait for a formal meeting.
If the situation cannot be resolved and you can't work like that, it may be time to make a change or the unresolved issue will probably fester, possibly leading to jadedness, animosity, lowered productivity, poor teamwork and low staff morale. If you're going to work anyway, why not try to improve a work situation rather than let it go downhill? It's important to like what you do or do something you like to do.
What to Do When You're Sick of What You Do (for a Living)
Sick of your job?
("Objections are those frightful things we see when we take our eyes off our goals." - Anne Nonimus)
The Problem
Everybody I know has, at one time or another, been sick and tired of what they were doing for a living and I am no exception. There were times when I had felt that I just couldn't face work and so I called in sick, then enjoyed my day. Then, at some point I began to think that if I liked what I was doing, I would probably want to do it every day. Not liking your work won't do much for you or your organization.
This led me to believe that it was possible for me to change careers and really enjoy what I did for a living, but I didn't do it without great effort. I started by writing down what it was I wanted to do, but it was initially problematic in that I felt I was very good at about a dozen things. The hardest part was to decide what to focus on.
Below, you will find the steps I took to get me started on my desired career path and, yes, anybody can do this. At first, I thought I was doomed to work for others for forty hours a week and be too tired to work on what I loved to do, but then, as I began the process, I realized that there really was no other way and nobody could keep me from doing what I really wanted to do.
Phase it out!
In the science of sound, when two identical waveforms are in the same position at the same time, they are said to be 'in phase', thus resulting in a stronger signal than either waveform alone (I threw in the word 'thus', because I like the sound of it). When one of the waveforms is moved ahead of the other, it begins to have the opposite effect and the signal becomes weaker until it becomes completely opposite and the overall sound is almost non-existent, although both signals on their own are still fairly strong. I have learned to apply this to my career path in that if I get tired of something and want to do other things, I gradually let go of one as I gradually build the other.
Focus, please.
You must know what you want to do before you can do it. Again, this was the hardest part for me because I was good at a lot of things and the only reason for that was because I chose to learn those things. I wrote and played music, did creative writing, recorded sounds, made short films and the list goes on. What I had to do was assess my talents and use them in my work somehow.
Get it in writing.
I wrote down everything I was going to accomplish in the coming years and I would read it every day (I'm now in my 12th year of doing what I choose to do). Something happens when things are written down, it's like a personal contract with oneself. Every time I got discouraged, I looked at the card.
Memorize your mandate.
My 'mandate' was, and still is, the definition of the word 'persevere' - 'To persist in a state, enterprise or undertaking in spite of counter-influence, opposition or discouragement.' I taped it to my fridge where I could see it every single day.
Stoke the fire.
I kept reminding myself of what my new direction was and the jobs that I held along the way were just stepping stones. I began to use those jobs to learn about how businesses were run and I wouldn't consider that a waste of time. I still did a great job but I was much happier than before because I knew something that nobody else knew - I was on my way somewhere and I would eventually use what I'd learned and say 'goodbye' to my fellow co-workers.
Ignore all objections.
Those who knew of my secret plans would either be supportive or not. I didn't listen to the nay-sayers, especially if they were working at the same place and didn't seem that happy; they were merely complacent, like they'd given up a fight. Sometimes co-workers can seem to be supportive with the 'we're all in this together, so it's okay to keep coming in every day and hate our jobs' attitude. I would just pretend to go along with it, but I would always stay focused on my new direction.
Learn, learn, learn.
I wanted to be THE expert in my field so I read and listened to everything I could about it. I also studied (and continue to study) great sales people and entrepreneurs (Brian Tracey, Tom Hopkins, Dick Buskirk, etc) and expanded my mind with physics, philosophy, math and cosmology. I felt so enriched, I began to take on a different attitude. I actually stood straighter than I had before.
Stay on track.
It is easier to stay on track the longer you stay focused. I'm not saying there are no overwhelming days in what I do now, but I can handle them better, because I chose my path. I have also been fortunate enough to turn down any offers which would change my course and I have raised my price for related, but not so desirable work. If my price was too high for them, so be it.
Don't get too comfortable!
After three long years of building my personal empire, I realized that almost all of what I had written down was already happening and my bank account was getting bigger. Then, feeling very confident, I didn't keep stoking the fire; I started to feel comfortable and my bank account was shriveling faster than it had swelled. To add to the unfortunate circumstances, I didn't have a contingency plan. In short, it took me three more years to turn that around! I know now that opportunity is not immune to the natural 'ebb and flow' of all things earthly and I act accordingly.
So, the next time you feel like you are wasting your time helping build something you don't want to be part of anymore, consider taking steps to 'phase it out' and start doing something you choose to do for a living. Hope this helps!!
Remember: You don't have to keep doing something you don't enjoy! But, you do need an exit strategy. Life is too short, avoid complacency and start on a new path, even if you have to form it yourself.
Stay tuned for: 'What to Do When You Like Your Job, But Don't Like What's Around You'.
Buck Moore (buck@buckmoore.net)
("Objections are those frightful things we see when we take our eyes off our goals." - Anne Nonimus)
The Problem
Everybody I know has, at one time or another, been sick and tired of what they were doing for a living and I am no exception. There were times when I had felt that I just couldn't face work and so I called in sick, then enjoyed my day. Then, at some point I began to think that if I liked what I was doing, I would probably want to do it every day. Not liking your work won't do much for you or your organization.
This led me to believe that it was possible for me to change careers and really enjoy what I did for a living, but I didn't do it without great effort. I started by writing down what it was I wanted to do, but it was initially problematic in that I felt I was very good at about a dozen things. The hardest part was to decide what to focus on.
Below, you will find the steps I took to get me started on my desired career path and, yes, anybody can do this. At first, I thought I was doomed to work for others for forty hours a week and be too tired to work on what I loved to do, but then, as I began the process, I realized that there really was no other way and nobody could keep me from doing what I really wanted to do.
Phase it out!
In the science of sound, when two identical waveforms are in the same position at the same time, they are said to be 'in phase', thus resulting in a stronger signal than either waveform alone (I threw in the word 'thus', because I like the sound of it). When one of the waveforms is moved ahead of the other, it begins to have the opposite effect and the signal becomes weaker until it becomes completely opposite and the overall sound is almost non-existent, although both signals on their own are still fairly strong. I have learned to apply this to my career path in that if I get tired of something and want to do other things, I gradually let go of one as I gradually build the other.
Focus, please.
You must know what you want to do before you can do it. Again, this was the hardest part for me because I was good at a lot of things and the only reason for that was because I chose to learn those things. I wrote and played music, did creative writing, recorded sounds, made short films and the list goes on. What I had to do was assess my talents and use them in my work somehow.
Get it in writing.
I wrote down everything I was going to accomplish in the coming years and I would read it every day (I'm now in my 12th year of doing what I choose to do). Something happens when things are written down, it's like a personal contract with oneself. Every time I got discouraged, I looked at the card.
Memorize your mandate.
My 'mandate' was, and still is, the definition of the word 'persevere' - 'To persist in a state, enterprise or undertaking in spite of counter-influence, opposition or discouragement.' I taped it to my fridge where I could see it every single day.
Stoke the fire.
I kept reminding myself of what my new direction was and the jobs that I held along the way were just stepping stones. I began to use those jobs to learn about how businesses were run and I wouldn't consider that a waste of time. I still did a great job but I was much happier than before because I knew something that nobody else knew - I was on my way somewhere and I would eventually use what I'd learned and say 'goodbye' to my fellow co-workers.
Ignore all objections.
Those who knew of my secret plans would either be supportive or not. I didn't listen to the nay-sayers, especially if they were working at the same place and didn't seem that happy; they were merely complacent, like they'd given up a fight. Sometimes co-workers can seem to be supportive with the 'we're all in this together, so it's okay to keep coming in every day and hate our jobs' attitude. I would just pretend to go along with it, but I would always stay focused on my new direction.
Learn, learn, learn.
I wanted to be THE expert in my field so I read and listened to everything I could about it. I also studied (and continue to study) great sales people and entrepreneurs (Brian Tracey, Tom Hopkins, Dick Buskirk, etc) and expanded my mind with physics, philosophy, math and cosmology. I felt so enriched, I began to take on a different attitude. I actually stood straighter than I had before.
Stay on track.
It is easier to stay on track the longer you stay focused. I'm not saying there are no overwhelming days in what I do now, but I can handle them better, because I chose my path. I have also been fortunate enough to turn down any offers which would change my course and I have raised my price for related, but not so desirable work. If my price was too high for them, so be it.
Don't get too comfortable!
After three long years of building my personal empire, I realized that almost all of what I had written down was already happening and my bank account was getting bigger. Then, feeling very confident, I didn't keep stoking the fire; I started to feel comfortable and my bank account was shriveling faster than it had swelled. To add to the unfortunate circumstances, I didn't have a contingency plan. In short, it took me three more years to turn that around! I know now that opportunity is not immune to the natural 'ebb and flow' of all things earthly and I act accordingly.
So, the next time you feel like you are wasting your time helping build something you don't want to be part of anymore, consider taking steps to 'phase it out' and start doing something you choose to do for a living. Hope this helps!!
Remember: You don't have to keep doing something you don't enjoy! But, you do need an exit strategy. Life is too short, avoid complacency and start on a new path, even if you have to form it yourself.
Stay tuned for: 'What to Do When You Like Your Job, But Don't Like What's Around You'.
Buck Moore (buck@buckmoore.net)
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Dealing With Bullies at Work or School (Some Case Studies)
***This blog posting offers insights and stories from real life experience and is not intended for solving unique work-related problems. It is simply an account of real situations that have happened and explains how they were dealt with. thinkWORKnotJOB and Buck Moore shall not be held responsible for the misuse of the information contained within this blog or any harm that results from the misuse of said information. You can contact Buck for more specific information on how to deal with your unique situation.***
Watch the PSA below - created by students of Trebas Institute, Toronto (and Directed by me, Buck Moore).
(for Bullies at School, please scroll down below the 'work' section)
Foreword
What is bullying? Here is a great definition from Wikipedia
"Bullying is the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation."
Alongside the word 'harm', I would add 'discomfort', because they can make a situation unnecessarily uncomfortable. It's important to note that a bully is not always a bigger, thug-like grade school classmate bent on beating the daylights out of you after class and stealing your lunch money. Yes, this does happen and it seems to have become an iconic symbol of bullying, but some bullies are quiet fire starters who are strictly manipulative and some others are smaller than you and I and really mouthy, so they couldn't really beat us up, but they can make our work and school situations difficult.
Bullying is a mentality that one adopts for a variety of reasons, which I won't go into here because, whatever the reason, we must deal with them somehow. A situation can become worse when the bully mentality spreads to one or more people who then band together and pick on someone who dresses differently or stands out in any other way. If this type of situation is allowed to escalate, it can become quite serious.
Here's a story from and old friend of mine (I will accept any other similar stories, by the way):
"In one of many situations, I was 'the new guy' who had to do the jobs nobody else wanted to do. I kept to myself for the first little while and had to work under two very egotistical rocker-types, who would accept nothing other than what was deemed to be 'cool'. Apparently, I was uncool to them - and they let me know it. They would stand by and watch me unload trucks and take out the garbage, all the while pointing out my Value Village wardrobe and how ridiculous I looked (I liked my style and so I stuck with it regardless).
The boss had recognized the situation and, at first, seemed to closely monitor the pecking order and see if it would resolve itself. One day, I was out of jobs to do (I had done them all) and I began sweeping the floors. After a little while, one of the 'two', as I called them, came back to where I was sweeping, watched me for a few seconds and spat on the floor in front of me. "Clean that up.", he said. I looked at him and swept it up and didn't say a word. He had nothing more to say and walked away. Eventually, after a few months of the 'two' trying to make my work life a living hell, the boss gave me seniority over them because I did more work, didn't complain and did a better job than them. I didn't exercise my powers right away, though.
Over a year passed and the 'two' had gone on to make others miserable, I can only assume. Then one day about a year after that, one of them came back to work. The boss was smiling when he told me that he was coming back and again let me know that I could get him to do anything that needed to be done. In fact, he told me to delegate as much as possible and not lift too many heavy objects. I held off making this guy's life miserable, but what was dangling over him was that I could, at any given moment. After that, we had a great team of workers who worked against seemingly impossible odds, with me at the helm of the crew."
Bullies at Work
Every time I read a news article about people being bullied at work, I feel bad for the bullies. Of course, I feel bad for the victims, but in my experience, a lot of bullies don't see exactly what they are doing (if they do, then they are just mean people to begin with). Work bullies are especially harmful when they are in positions of authority and often don't know they've gone too far with their 'power' until it's too late. Poor bullies, if only they could see the errors of their ways.
Bullies in general appear to be blaming other people for their own shortcomings by the way they act toward others. In some cases, work bullies I've known had identity and self-esteem issues that more or less confused them, arousing feelings of petty resentment and therefore allowing these feelings to permeate into a previously harmonious or minimally agitated environment. Perhaps they see themselves as catalysts for needed change, or perhaps they just like to stir things up.
Whatever the case may be, they usually tend to go about things in the wrong way - like talking behind the backs of others or lying to people for their own benefit, criticizing them, trying to make them look bad to others, etc. What is more dangerous is the fact that some bully managers have no qualms about treating staff as pawns in their business 'game'. Bully's are sometimes fearful people and giving them power is like adding vinegar to milk.
I want to treat the idea of bullying at work a little differently than usual; I want to show it in a positive light, for it can be a good thing. For example, I was once bullied by a peer, who I didn't really know that well, but we both did the same work. He was very rude and obnoxious, eventually giving me the finger in front of a handful of people. My response to him was calm - I offered him my help should he run into trouble during his shift. I refused to go down to his level, because I didn't want to be there (and it could have ended up in a physical fight). All the people who saw this knew exactly who was in the wrong and a close friend of the bully came to me and apologized on their behalf. So, why is that so positive? Because I had passed the test and was recognized for staying calm. Guess who felt empowered?
In that situation, I felt I needed to stand up for myself yet not stoop to his level and it worked. In fact, it has worked many times before and after that event. In most cases, I had done nothing. I had let them say or do what they had to and I continued to do my work. My ultimate defense was to do what I had always done - be great at what I did. In many cases, I became an untouchable employee because I wanted to focus on the positive and not dwell in the muck, like so many bullies do.
These are the rules that I came up with and follow when it comes to dealing with workplace bullies and they can even work in a school setting:
Work-Bully Rule #1 - Do nothing, let them vent. Bullies need an outlet and have the desire for power, but they usually mishandle any power given to them, and it will come back to them (what goes around, comes around).
Work-Bully Rule #2 - Let them know you'll be there for them if they need to talk. I am careful with this one, because they may think I am being sarcastic and I do not want any physical violence! I am sincere.
Work-Bully Rule #3 - Keep records of incidents. This is for one's own protection and one may have to bring these incidents up with somebody above the bully. If there is nobody above the bully, these records should be kept and legal advice should be sought before it can go too far. I did this years ago with one very serious situation. I contacted two attorneys and had meetings about possible courses of action. There was a bit of physical violence toward me and although I would have been a fantastic contender in the resulting fist fight, I generally operate with more than just my hind brain (unlike the bully). In the end I chose to do nothing after I left and they went out of business shortly after (I do believe in karma).
Work-Bully Rule #4 - Never lose your cool! Bullies seem to like challenges, but if I don't offer them a direct challenge, what can they do but keep being a bully? I don't give in. I'm not saying I don't stand my ground, I just keep my mind to the business grindstone and they should go away. If they persist, I go to rule #5. I was once slashed with a shipping knife on the shoulder. I was wearing a jacket and didn't get harmed, but the knife cut my jacket. The bully was just 'pretending' to cut me, but he actually did cut something. So, what did I do? I looked at him intently, took a deep breath and walked away. Later, I took it up with management and they handled it. I didn't have to do much else but continue to be good at what I did.
Work-Bully Rule #5 - Request a meeting. Dirty laundry should be kept in a closed environment. If I am able to get a meeting with a manager and the bully, I'll bring out my list of incidences and offer a solution to the problem. I don't blame the bully for anything, but I express my concern for the company's productivity and image. I mention that animosity should be 'quelled' for the benefit of the company. If I am being proactive and offer solutions, I will have put myself at a higher level than that of the bully.
I have dealt with many bullies over the years and some have seen me as somewhat passive - something to take advantage of. On every occasion, I kept calm, followed my rules and it had never worked out for the bully in the end. There are many other incidents I could talk about right now, but I'm saving them for my book.
Bullies at School:
Some of the guidelines above can work in a school setting. A school setting can mean any level of education as some bullies just never grow up and do the same things in college as they would in grade four.
A classmate of mine once had it in for me in grade 9. We went to public school together and there were never any issues between us until we started high school. It may have been peer pressure, I can't be certain, but what I was certain of is this: he was told by another classmate (who was an agitator) that I drew a picture of his mother. Being one of the better cartoonists in high school, I was an easy target for the blame.
No matter how much I tried to explain my innocence he would not back down and this led to a "Let's take it outside after school.". "Great...", I thought, as I finished up my day, not being able to concentrate on my school work (the interesting classes, at least). I met him around the back of the school with a small crowd watching and the 'agitator' snickering nearby (who knew I didn't draw the darned thing!). We stood for what seemed like forever and I finally told him that I had to go to my job (flipping burgers). I walked away and he did nothing - he was as nervous as I was, I could tell by the way he was shaking. Nothing more ever happened after that. He gave up his campaign against me, I suppose, but ignoring him was the best thing I ever did in that situation.
I thought that I might look like an idiot if I did swing the first punch, or even retaliate by getting punched first. Not only that, I have always liked my teeth and didn't think a stupid fight was worth it. The problem is ,in high school, or even public school, that you can feel like you are alone when it comes to somebody picking on you. It's a hard thing to admit to being a 'tattle-tale' (do they still call it that?)and it's tough to look like a coward - but those are some of the myths that are perpetuated by some parents and legal guardians. In fact, anybody being bullied in school should be provided with a clear alternative to being bullied without being embarrassed about it; the bullies should be the ones who are embarrassed.
I say 'open up a can of bully-be-gone' and get 'em out of your face! There are people who can and will help you!
Feel free to contact me at any time if I can help solve your work or school-related problems. (buck@thinkworknotjob.com)
Watch the PSA below - created by students of Trebas Institute, Toronto (and Directed by me, Buck Moore).
(for Bullies at School, please scroll down below the 'work' section)
Foreword
What is bullying? Here is a great definition from Wikipedia
"Bullying is the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation."
Alongside the word 'harm', I would add 'discomfort', because they can make a situation unnecessarily uncomfortable. It's important to note that a bully is not always a bigger, thug-like grade school classmate bent on beating the daylights out of you after class and stealing your lunch money. Yes, this does happen and it seems to have become an iconic symbol of bullying, but some bullies are quiet fire starters who are strictly manipulative and some others are smaller than you and I and really mouthy, so they couldn't really beat us up, but they can make our work and school situations difficult.
Bullying is a mentality that one adopts for a variety of reasons, which I won't go into here because, whatever the reason, we must deal with them somehow. A situation can become worse when the bully mentality spreads to one or more people who then band together and pick on someone who dresses differently or stands out in any other way. If this type of situation is allowed to escalate, it can become quite serious.
Here's a story from and old friend of mine (I will accept any other similar stories, by the way):
"In one of many situations, I was 'the new guy' who had to do the jobs nobody else wanted to do. I kept to myself for the first little while and had to work under two very egotistical rocker-types, who would accept nothing other than what was deemed to be 'cool'. Apparently, I was uncool to them - and they let me know it. They would stand by and watch me unload trucks and take out the garbage, all the while pointing out my Value Village wardrobe and how ridiculous I looked (I liked my style and so I stuck with it regardless).
The boss had recognized the situation and, at first, seemed to closely monitor the pecking order and see if it would resolve itself. One day, I was out of jobs to do (I had done them all) and I began sweeping the floors. After a little while, one of the 'two', as I called them, came back to where I was sweeping, watched me for a few seconds and spat on the floor in front of me. "Clean that up.", he said. I looked at him and swept it up and didn't say a word. He had nothing more to say and walked away. Eventually, after a few months of the 'two' trying to make my work life a living hell, the boss gave me seniority over them because I did more work, didn't complain and did a better job than them. I didn't exercise my powers right away, though.
Over a year passed and the 'two' had gone on to make others miserable, I can only assume. Then one day about a year after that, one of them came back to work. The boss was smiling when he told me that he was coming back and again let me know that I could get him to do anything that needed to be done. In fact, he told me to delegate as much as possible and not lift too many heavy objects. I held off making this guy's life miserable, but what was dangling over him was that I could, at any given moment. After that, we had a great team of workers who worked against seemingly impossible odds, with me at the helm of the crew."
Bullies at Work
Every time I read a news article about people being bullied at work, I feel bad for the bullies. Of course, I feel bad for the victims, but in my experience, a lot of bullies don't see exactly what they are doing (if they do, then they are just mean people to begin with). Work bullies are especially harmful when they are in positions of authority and often don't know they've gone too far with their 'power' until it's too late. Poor bullies, if only they could see the errors of their ways.
Bullies in general appear to be blaming other people for their own shortcomings by the way they act toward others. In some cases, work bullies I've known had identity and self-esteem issues that more or less confused them, arousing feelings of petty resentment and therefore allowing these feelings to permeate into a previously harmonious or minimally agitated environment. Perhaps they see themselves as catalysts for needed change, or perhaps they just like to stir things up.
Whatever the case may be, they usually tend to go about things in the wrong way - like talking behind the backs of others or lying to people for their own benefit, criticizing them, trying to make them look bad to others, etc. What is more dangerous is the fact that some bully managers have no qualms about treating staff as pawns in their business 'game'. Bully's are sometimes fearful people and giving them power is like adding vinegar to milk.
I want to treat the idea of bullying at work a little differently than usual; I want to show it in a positive light, for it can be a good thing. For example, I was once bullied by a peer, who I didn't really know that well, but we both did the same work. He was very rude and obnoxious, eventually giving me the finger in front of a handful of people. My response to him was calm - I offered him my help should he run into trouble during his shift. I refused to go down to his level, because I didn't want to be there (and it could have ended up in a physical fight). All the people who saw this knew exactly who was in the wrong and a close friend of the bully came to me and apologized on their behalf. So, why is that so positive? Because I had passed the test and was recognized for staying calm. Guess who felt empowered?
In that situation, I felt I needed to stand up for myself yet not stoop to his level and it worked. In fact, it has worked many times before and after that event. In most cases, I had done nothing. I had let them say or do what they had to and I continued to do my work. My ultimate defense was to do what I had always done - be great at what I did. In many cases, I became an untouchable employee because I wanted to focus on the positive and not dwell in the muck, like so many bullies do.
These are the rules that I came up with and follow when it comes to dealing with workplace bullies and they can even work in a school setting:
Work-Bully Rule #1 - Do nothing, let them vent. Bullies need an outlet and have the desire for power, but they usually mishandle any power given to them, and it will come back to them (what goes around, comes around).
Work-Bully Rule #2 - Let them know you'll be there for them if they need to talk. I am careful with this one, because they may think I am being sarcastic and I do not want any physical violence! I am sincere.
Work-Bully Rule #3 - Keep records of incidents. This is for one's own protection and one may have to bring these incidents up with somebody above the bully. If there is nobody above the bully, these records should be kept and legal advice should be sought before it can go too far. I did this years ago with one very serious situation. I contacted two attorneys and had meetings about possible courses of action. There was a bit of physical violence toward me and although I would have been a fantastic contender in the resulting fist fight, I generally operate with more than just my hind brain (unlike the bully). In the end I chose to do nothing after I left and they went out of business shortly after (I do believe in karma).
Work-Bully Rule #4 - Never lose your cool! Bullies seem to like challenges, but if I don't offer them a direct challenge, what can they do but keep being a bully? I don't give in. I'm not saying I don't stand my ground, I just keep my mind to the business grindstone and they should go away. If they persist, I go to rule #5. I was once slashed with a shipping knife on the shoulder. I was wearing a jacket and didn't get harmed, but the knife cut my jacket. The bully was just 'pretending' to cut me, but he actually did cut something. So, what did I do? I looked at him intently, took a deep breath and walked away. Later, I took it up with management and they handled it. I didn't have to do much else but continue to be good at what I did.
Work-Bully Rule #5 - Request a meeting. Dirty laundry should be kept in a closed environment. If I am able to get a meeting with a manager and the bully, I'll bring out my list of incidences and offer a solution to the problem. I don't blame the bully for anything, but I express my concern for the company's productivity and image. I mention that animosity should be 'quelled' for the benefit of the company. If I am being proactive and offer solutions, I will have put myself at a higher level than that of the bully.
I have dealt with many bullies over the years and some have seen me as somewhat passive - something to take advantage of. On every occasion, I kept calm, followed my rules and it had never worked out for the bully in the end. There are many other incidents I could talk about right now, but I'm saving them for my book.
Bullies at School:
Some of the guidelines above can work in a school setting. A school setting can mean any level of education as some bullies just never grow up and do the same things in college as they would in grade four.
A classmate of mine once had it in for me in grade 9. We went to public school together and there were never any issues between us until we started high school. It may have been peer pressure, I can't be certain, but what I was certain of is this: he was told by another classmate (who was an agitator) that I drew a picture of his mother. Being one of the better cartoonists in high school, I was an easy target for the blame.
No matter how much I tried to explain my innocence he would not back down and this led to a "Let's take it outside after school.". "Great...", I thought, as I finished up my day, not being able to concentrate on my school work (the interesting classes, at least). I met him around the back of the school with a small crowd watching and the 'agitator' snickering nearby (who knew I didn't draw the darned thing!). We stood for what seemed like forever and I finally told him that I had to go to my job (flipping burgers). I walked away and he did nothing - he was as nervous as I was, I could tell by the way he was shaking. Nothing more ever happened after that. He gave up his campaign against me, I suppose, but ignoring him was the best thing I ever did in that situation.
I thought that I might look like an idiot if I did swing the first punch, or even retaliate by getting punched first. Not only that, I have always liked my teeth and didn't think a stupid fight was worth it. The problem is ,in high school, or even public school, that you can feel like you are alone when it comes to somebody picking on you. It's a hard thing to admit to being a 'tattle-tale' (do they still call it that?)and it's tough to look like a coward - but those are some of the myths that are perpetuated by some parents and legal guardians. In fact, anybody being bullied in school should be provided with a clear alternative to being bullied without being embarrassed about it; the bullies should be the ones who are embarrassed.
I say 'open up a can of bully-be-gone' and get 'em out of your face! There are people who can and will help you!
Feel free to contact me at any time if I can help solve your work or school-related problems. (buck@thinkworknotjob.com)
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Tips to Make Your Workday Worthwhile
Even the most educated people in careers of their choosing lose steam at their workplace. Thinking beyond the grind can help anybody focus on what they are actually doing for a living. Some people count down the days before they go on vacation and others simply daydream about the weekend. Whatever gets us through the day, right?
Others take a different approach to work. In fact, some of us don't even want to go on vacation because we will get behind in our work, which is important for the building of legacies. The more work we do in pursuit of our dreams, the closer we will be to them - not to mention the fulfilling journey to get there. Whenever I see advertisements about retirement, I think to myself: "What would I retire from? Things I like to do?"
So my glass is half full, yippee for me. It wasn't always that way, though. I forged my career into what it is and where it's going today and I feel as if I am never finished, but I never want to feel 'full', because there is always more to do. I must also mention that I get a natural buzz when I think about what I'm going to do next and, to keep this feeling going, I associate myself with like-minded individuals (I cut the 'nay-sayers' loose years ago).
So, according to me, here are a few tips to make your workday worthwhile:
1) Wake up earlier than usual and enjoy the morning. Have your favorite comfort beverage and go over the ideas and plans which involve you. Sleeping in can make you feel like you are giving your time away for somebody else's ultimate goals, so set three alarms if you have to and make sure one is across the room so you must get out of bed to shut it off - then stay up! You can even get a 'zen' alarm which gradually gets louder with a pleasing tone.
If you do shift work, adjust accordingly - for some reason, I found it more difficult when working the afternoon or midnight shift to find extra time to enjoy, so time management becomes more of a discipline. In any case, you may find time after you get home from work to be better for personal enjoyment.
2) Take note of what work activities will help you first, then the company (if you work for a company). Chances are, if it works for you first, it will benefit the company anyway. A new skill set, however, will benefit you first, because it'll make you more valuable for your current or future employer.
3) Do something creative at work. Try a different approach to a mundane task. You may get so involved in it, you will probably not look at the clock and forget to go for lunch (but bring a healthy snack so you don't starve!). When time flies by, you will feel happier. I used to put off lunch to finish projects and, at about 2:30 or 3:00, the boss would suggest I stop working and take a lunch. That particular boss allowed me to be creative and did not micromanage, but he did like to see me take a break now and then.
4) Smile more. I know, some people balk at this one, but it does make a difference in the way others treat you. I even smile at the mean people - not to be facetious, just to maintain a positive expression for my own benefit. Tell a joke or show a funny cartoon to a co-worker and they'll smile, too. They may even chuckle for the next little while and get those endorphins flowing nicely (check with a doctor about this one as I am not giving medical advice here - my disclaimer).
5) Buy a co-worker a coffee or tea. This one act solves so many work-related issues, it's not funny. Keep in mind that some bosses feel like co-workers, but be careful not to look like a shameful opportunist. So, buy everybody in your area something because, it'll only cost you a few bucks and perhaps others will do the same. It's an act that reinforces the concept of teamwork or 'family' at a workplace.
These tips work. Have a great work day!!
Buck Moore
Others take a different approach to work. In fact, some of us don't even want to go on vacation because we will get behind in our work, which is important for the building of legacies. The more work we do in pursuit of our dreams, the closer we will be to them - not to mention the fulfilling journey to get there. Whenever I see advertisements about retirement, I think to myself: "What would I retire from? Things I like to do?"
So my glass is half full, yippee for me. It wasn't always that way, though. I forged my career into what it is and where it's going today and I feel as if I am never finished, but I never want to feel 'full', because there is always more to do. I must also mention that I get a natural buzz when I think about what I'm going to do next and, to keep this feeling going, I associate myself with like-minded individuals (I cut the 'nay-sayers' loose years ago).
So, according to me, here are a few tips to make your workday worthwhile:
1) Wake up earlier than usual and enjoy the morning. Have your favorite comfort beverage and go over the ideas and plans which involve you. Sleeping in can make you feel like you are giving your time away for somebody else's ultimate goals, so set three alarms if you have to and make sure one is across the room so you must get out of bed to shut it off - then stay up! You can even get a 'zen' alarm which gradually gets louder with a pleasing tone.
If you do shift work, adjust accordingly - for some reason, I found it more difficult when working the afternoon or midnight shift to find extra time to enjoy, so time management becomes more of a discipline. In any case, you may find time after you get home from work to be better for personal enjoyment.
2) Take note of what work activities will help you first, then the company (if you work for a company). Chances are, if it works for you first, it will benefit the company anyway. A new skill set, however, will benefit you first, because it'll make you more valuable for your current or future employer.
3) Do something creative at work. Try a different approach to a mundane task. You may get so involved in it, you will probably not look at the clock and forget to go for lunch (but bring a healthy snack so you don't starve!). When time flies by, you will feel happier. I used to put off lunch to finish projects and, at about 2:30 or 3:00, the boss would suggest I stop working and take a lunch. That particular boss allowed me to be creative and did not micromanage, but he did like to see me take a break now and then.
4) Smile more. I know, some people balk at this one, but it does make a difference in the way others treat you. I even smile at the mean people - not to be facetious, just to maintain a positive expression for my own benefit. Tell a joke or show a funny cartoon to a co-worker and they'll smile, too. They may even chuckle for the next little while and get those endorphins flowing nicely (check with a doctor about this one as I am not giving medical advice here - my disclaimer).
5) Buy a co-worker a coffee or tea. This one act solves so many work-related issues, it's not funny. Keep in mind that some bosses feel like co-workers, but be careful not to look like a shameful opportunist. So, buy everybody in your area something because, it'll only cost you a few bucks and perhaps others will do the same. It's an act that reinforces the concept of teamwork or 'family' at a workplace.
These tips work. Have a great work day!!
Buck Moore
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