How to Tell Someone You Don't Really Like Them

I have discovered something fascinating over the years - some people don't like me! Even if I had tried and displayed my most amicable countenance, not everyone would like me. But, that's great news!

It's great news because not everyone can like everybody, nor can every body like every one, so we struggle with difficult people on a daily basis, which sharpens our people handling skills and helps us keep our guards up.

Admitting that you don't like someone right to their face is probably one of the bravest and relieving things a person could do, especially if you work with them every day.

Pretending to like someone is dishonest. If you were to let them know about it and get it out of your system, you can then focus on your work and not feel like you are holding something in every day, shaking your head every time the person walks past you or making faces at their turned back.

Co-workers and bosses should be able to admit their dislike of someone without consequence**. Not being open about it is an emotional trap, as the book shown describes on the cover, and people should be willing to let go and just be honest about disliking one another.

(** - I once told a 'manager' that I didn't like him. I had to, because he needed to be told. A week later, I was let go. I was a freelancer, so it was easy for him to get rid of me, but I stand by my decision to this day!).

Before you tell someone you don't like them, be sure the feeling is mutual, then think about how you are going to tell them. There's no point getting too emotional and angry about it. If you actually take the time to understand why you don't like them, you'll figure out a thing or two about yourself, provided you analyze the situation honestly. In fact, you probably do some of the same things they do to annoy you.

If they haven't got a clue that you don't like them, first try to find out their side of the story and see if they simply aren't aware that they are annoying you or angering you. Perhaps they haven't been properly trained on a process you know by heart. Instead of building up anger, ask them about it before you tell them you don't like them because you may actually like them after speaking with them.

If you decide to approach the person in question, ask them a few questions to confirm what bugs you about them, then discuss it. If they are doing things just to bug you, consider calling a truce and be done with the built up negative emotions.

How to tell them you don't like them, if you must - after gathering information, if a truce cannot be agreed upon, tell them you don't like them, ask them to tell you the same thing, shake hands and get on with your day. With the burden of built up emotions out of the way, you will surely find a way to work with your new un-friend.

Note - with the proper communication methods employed, you probably won't get to telling them you don't like them as the feelings might wear off following information gathering. But, if you do, it's better to get it off your chest and it sure beats petty squabbles.

I personally think people have the right to know if they aren't liked by someone. At least the problem can be examined and most likely resolved after such a realization.

8-)  Buck Moore

Who's Got Your Back? More About How to Stay Employed.

Creating and maintaining a good team at work is essential for many reasons. This means getting along with others and developing great working relationships which allow for benefits such as open lines of communication, constructive criticism and problem solving, to name but a few.

When you are not around, others may be talking about you or your responsibilities. Sometimes, with new management, they may not even realize that you are in charge of certain areas of have developed new ways of doing things. On paper, everything looks like it can be edited without emotion, but what happens when a change in the workplace affects you in a negative way? You guessed it - emotion comes into play.

The key here, for remaining employed as a part of a great team you have bonded with, is to be such an integral part of that team that, in your absence, others will promptly step forward if they feel your livelihood is about to be compromised without your knowledge.

Face it, we can't do everything by ourselves; we need a great team to back us, and us to back any member of that team whether they've earned their place or need to be given a chance to do great things.

This is merely a thought for the day and the whole thinkWORKnotJOB concept is based upon being a member of an unstoppable team. Please review the archives. Have a great day!